Love Prescription (Rx) #38
Theme Song: I Am Free ~ Newsboys
~ Lust maintains an attitude that a woman is to be used for a man's selfish sensual dreams instead of a man existing to fight for and serve God's dreams of loving and protecting a woman.
One of the greatest lies Satan feeds men is that it doesn't hurt anyone to lust after a woman in his heart; after all he is not actually sleeping with her right? The sad thing about lust as with every sin, it places scales over men's eyes and keeps them blinded to God's truth. Worse yet, it cuts off a man's heart from God's love. When a man lusts after women he becomes a slave, or actually he lusts after a woman because he is a slave to that sin in his heart. He becomes addicted to lust just like a drug. Somehow we as men think we can sin in the area of lust and it won't affect us or others.
This must have been the same thought Adam and Eve had in the Garden of Eden. "Who could this sin possibly affect except us? After all there is just the two of us here right?" As we know Adam and Eve's disobedience took the entire human race down with them. The effects of Adam and Eve's sin can be seen even today in the total breakdown of society, of governments, of businesses, of churches and of families. The effects of their sin can still be felt today thousands of years later. Your sin too will negatively affect others around you, directly or indirectly, just like it did with Adam and Eve whether you believe it or not.
Lust Desensitizes Your Heart
One way lust will ruin a man is by desensitizing his heart toward God and ultimately destroying his relationship with his significant other. God designed that a man has a whole heart, eyes, and his body for one woman alone. God designed women to be valued and cherished as the only woman to whom a man gives all of his attention, affection and desire. No woman wants to be in competition with others, not even in a man's thoughts. If you don't believe me, just ask any of them. God designed a woman to need security from a man; security that she alone is the only one he will value, love and cherish forever.
Like a rip tide eroding the shoreline of a beautiful beach, lust will slowly destroy the beauty of God given intimacy with a spouse. Instinctively many women can tell when her man has a problem with sexual lust. They feel it in their spirit. I define lust like this:
Lust: An intense, obsessive, insatiable desire that when obtained leaves one feeling empty shortly thereafter.
I heard another definition for lust that Peter Lord used to say: Lust is satisfying a God given desire in a God forbidden way. This type of mentality breeds addictions. The feelings associated with lust are so strong, so real that you are just certain it is a need. You go back time and time again to be refueled.
But there is a huge difference between true love and lust. Love is always full and always giving, Love is always looking out for the needs of others while lust is always running empty and always consuming to satisfy itself. Love comes from God, while lust is a spirit that comes from the Devil. Jesus made it very clear that to lust after a woman in our hearts is sin.
~ But don't think you've preserved your virtue simply by staying out of bed (with a woman). Your heart can be corrupted by lust even quicker than your body. Those leering looks you think nobody notices — they also corrupt.
Jesus, Matthew 5:28 (The Message)
What some men don't realize is that sin like adultery and sexual immorality start with the thoughts of the heart; they start with lust. Most people don't go out and commit sexual sin without first committing that very sin in the thoughts of their heart. Thus, it is critical that the thoughts of our heart remain pure. Proverbs 4:23 says it like this:
~ Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.
When we allow a sin to dwell in our thoughts it's just a matter of time before we will commit that very sin in our actions. This is why pornography is so destructive to relationships.
~ Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. (Let the thoughts of your heart dwell on these things.) Phil. 4:8 (NIV)
The Porn Industry
As I have been doing some research on the porn industry I have discovered the reality behind it. As I have read some first hand accounts from a few ex-porn stars I was stunned by their own perspective of the industry. None of them enjoyed what they did. Most of them ended up in the industry because they had terrible home lives while growing up and many had been sexually abused at a young age by an older man. Many of the women stay in porn not because they enjoy the business but because they are paid good money to stay there.
Porn completely devalues women. It treats women as if they simply exist to satisfy a man's sexual urges. As with all sin, the people in the industry are simply captives. They are prisoners and we as believers need to rise up and begin to pray that God's Spirit will move mightily amongst them and those who are still secretly addicted to pornography. As I was studying pornography addictions I came across some very startling statistics.
Pornography Stats
In most surveys of Christian men (including pastors), at least 50% who respond admit to having viewed pornography recently.
At 12 billion a year, the revenues of the porn industry in the U.S. are bigger than the NFL, NBA and Major League Baseball combined. Worldwide porn sales are reported to be 57 billion. To put this in perspective, Microsoft, who sells the operating system used on most of the computers in the world (in addition to other software) reported sales of 36.8 billion in 2004. (Family Safe Media)
According to the Justice Department, in 1998 there were 28,000 X-rated Web sites generating 925 million dollars in revenue. Within just three years this number increased to 280,000 X-rated Web sites.
60% of all website visits are sexual in nature.
(MSNBC Survey 2000)
* The No. 1 search term used at search engine sites is the word "sex". Users searched for "sex" more than other terms such as "games," "travel," "music," "jokes," "cars," "weather," "health" and "jobs" combined. The study also found that "pornography/porno" was the fourth-most searched for subject. (Alexa Research)
77% of online visitors to adult content sites are male. Their average age is 41 and they have an annual income of $60,000. 46% are married. (Forrester Research Report, 2001)
One in 4 American adults surveyed in 2002 admitted to seeing an x-rated movie in the last year. (National Opinion Research Letter)
A 1996 Promise Keepers survey at one of their stadium events revealed that over 50% of the men in attendance were involved with pornography within one week of attending the event.
In his book, "Men's Secret Wars", Patrick Means reveals a confidential survey of evangelical pastors and church lay leaders. Sixty-four percent of these Christian leaders confirm that they are struggling with sexual addiction or sexual compulsion including, but not limited to use of pornography, compulsive masturbation, or other secret sexual activity.
In March of 2002 Rick Warren's (author of the Purpose Driven life) Pastors.com website conducted a survey on porn use of 1351 pastors: 54% of the pastors had viewed Internet pornography within the last year, and 30% of these had visited within the last 30 days.
All stats provided by:
http://www.blazinggrace.org/pornstatistics.htm
I am not attempting to bash pastors or men in churches however this is a silent epidemic that can no longer be ignored.
Create In Me a Pure Heart O God
Currently the Spirit of God is moving amongst some in the porn industry and bringing deliverance. Just in the last few months a number of people have walked out of the porn industry, one of whom I have befriended and pray for regularly.
The reason men lust after women and view porn is because in their own heart's they are not yet free. Their heart is still in bondage. The only permanent solution to this addiction is to go to God and beg Him to change your heart. After committing adultery David said this:
Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Psalm 51:10 (NIV)
David understood that his sin revealed that his heart was impure. He realized that he had allowed this sin to grow in his heart and that in order to be pure, he needed purity from within. In order to be free, he needed freedom in his heart first and foremost.
There are growing ministries and outreaches that are making tremendous headway in this arena. I predict that in the very near future we are going to see a huge increase of women being delivered from porn lifestyles and that many men who are viewing porn will find freedom who have only known life long addictions.
If you would like to know more about how lust and pornography destroys lives or how God is moving amongst the porn industry or if you need help finding freedom yourself, you can check out these sites:
http://www.myspace.com/xxxchurch
http://www.myspace.com/shelleylubben
http://www.myspace.com/eroswounded
http://www.blazinggrace.org
If you are struggling with lust or pornography pray this prayer with me:
Dear God,
I am a prisoner of this sin and have been for quite some time. I have tried everything to get free, but I am still bound. Please God, change my heart. Take the chain of lust off of my heart and set me free. Please I beg you, for your glory set me free. I have tried everything only to fail time and time again. Jesus, I surrender my all to you and realize that all my attempts on my own are futile. You alone have the power to heal my broken heart. You alone can set me free from this prison. Deliver me. Use my life and past addiction for your glory. Use me to set others free. In Jesus name. Amen.